There are different levels to Christianity, superficial ones which are best disposed of, as they are illusory, and probably not truth. There may be something more substantial at the core, if you can find it. This isn't by me but I came across it recently, and I highly recommend it. Consider a reconstruction of your beliefs:

https://medium.com/the-gravity-of-guilt/what-do-the-terms-deconstruction-and-reconstruction-mean-a3ffe3998c1

best wishes