The concept of choice, as you are describing it, is very complex. You are describing a process where certain thoughts entered your ego-consciousness. At first you struggled against them, but then accepted them. My question would therefore be, what was the source of those thoughts? Was there anything in your personal psychology which led to them?

I went the opposite way. When I was young I was an atheist, i.e. I allowed atheistic thoughts to take over my consciousness. This was without any great philosophical speculation about the issues; it just felt right at the time. It was only during a personal psychoanalysis that I realised that these thoughts were not about reality, but were related to my upbringing. During that process, which included some weird experiences, I realised the error of my ways, and now I'm a believer in spirituality.